Self-Discovery and All That Crap

My first few weeks in my new setting was to reveal much about myself as well as opening up my understanding about the Philippines. I have lived in provinces before but it was always in a town setting. I had not experienced this side of the Philippines. My abilities to adapt were being tested. I needed to get over my first big hurdle, yes I’m back to the unpleasant subject of having a crap as nature intended. It weighed on my mind heavily but time came after walking around for close on a week with my bum cheeks tightly clenched, that nature had to take its course.

The world was my toilet, but where?

Why do I keep returning to this issue, I hear you ask? Well, for the simple reason that it brings it home to us by relating this simple fundamental need to how much we have become spoilt in our convenient world, yet for possibly millions of Filipinos, this is everyday life.

It is a crude basic I know but it brings home to many of us how difficult life is for others. I will also add that most people there do have toilet facilities and it was only my first month that I had to endure not having that luxury.

I shall spare you the details so let’s just say I managed. As quiet and peaceful as it was, I still couldn’t get my head around the lack of privacy. I set off with a large metal digging tool, a bucket of water and soap and it took me an age to select my spot. I kept having visions of someone walking past. I actually had trouble adjusting to squatting; (I don’t mean the illegal occupation of private land). It was difficult keeping my balance. Not only that, I was told all about the Philippine Cobra which resides in these parts. Naturally, I was a little paranoid about that especially when some of the best spots to perform my business were in cobra territory.

You’re used to what you’re used to and I hated it and wanted to give up food to relieve myself from the stress of being a reluctant nature boy. However, I crossed that bridge as I had no choice other than to get used to it. It got easier but I was never really comfortable with it.

Hiding behind my fatness

I spent far too long not contributing in helping with the everyday chores. I left the people I was staying with to get on with all that and was all too aware what poor physical shape I was in.

Every day, water needed to be carried back from the spring for drinking and washing. I knew it was going to be hard so I shirked the tasks. Same goes for chopping wood for the cooking. I simply came from a world where I’d never really needed to do it. However, shame caught up with me and after a few weeks, I started contributing towards helping with these everyday important chores which are essential when living in a place like Catigan.

That was the start of a voyage of self discovery. I was fat, unfit and basically dumb as to some very basic things. I was aware I could be likely to stand out like a big colonial sore thumb. I grabbed the water container so after I had washed at the spring, I could bring back valuable water for drinking. It was one hell of a long walk uphill, and I puffed and panted whilst praying nobody would come past to hear me wheezing. I never really got used to being the human fertilizer spreader, but the rest was to come a little easier, eventually anyway.

The social hub, the videoke with pool table and drinking centre

I spent my evenings watching the stars and wincing at the videoke machine that was destroying the peace. It seemed so sad that they saw fit to have to sing in such a quiet and peaceful place. I would look up and even Mount Apo was wincing. It will take a visitor about 36 hours to realize that the many Filipinos are obsessed with videoke. It was certainly no different here. That was the hot spot of this part of Catigan, a sari-sari store/videoke bar with a pool table. On occasion, the pigs being tied up and taken to market sounded better, but that’s Filipinos and videoke. For such a shy people as they often are, they lose all inhibition when given a microphone; Catigan people are no different.

Still the videoke wasn’t ruining the peace all the time, and it was heaven sat out in the dark watching fireflies under beautiful starry nights and most of all the peace. Five o’clock in the morning, Catigan would start to come to life. At first light, you would see people go to the muddy ponds where the carabaos were left to bathe or untied from a stake where they had been happily chomping on the vegetation that was everywhere.

Observing is learning and all I could do was watch

I had little idea about how the place functioned, exactly how they made a living and whether they were working for themselves or others. My first visit I just watched taking in this completely different way of life, I wasn’t ready to ask questions.

Quieter daytime moments were taking gentle walks amongst some of the most incredible breathtaking scenery and above all, slowing myself down. You don’t realize how much city life makes you rush and how living at a faster speed makes you impatient and anxious. Here, you instinctively slow down as there simply is no rush, which was a good feeling.

Catigan Sunrise

Learning A New Life

So the next few weeks and months was to become a huge new learning curve. All I knew of Catigan was it was a little isolated, hilly and was told beautiful. It certainly was all those things but I didn’t really have much idea of what I was coming to. Every passing moment was a lesson especially in those early times. My first stay lasted 4 months. 

A way of life I had never known

The first couple of weeks were purely for psychological adjustment and trying to adapt to my new situation. I was okay with the ridiculously early nights. I was definitely okay with the peace and had no problem about having to walk far down bumpy and sometimes muddy slippery paths to get anywhere but I wasn’t okay with the lack of toilet facilities. Looking back now knowing how things unfolded, I can smile. At the time though, it was a big issue with me. 

Fitting In

In the early days of my stay in Catigan, I went around meeting locals which was an enlightening experience. On my arrival, I sensed the usual mindset thinking of most Filipinos just about anywhere and I was asked all the usual questions pertaining to my perceived wealth. However, that was then. Over time, I got past that but the usual stereotyped thinking about foreigners and money became a too often mentioned topic. I was quizzed and I could sense them thinking, why is a man with money here trying to live like us.

It was known I was here to be with my sons and their mother, which made having to explain my purpose a little easier but the curiosity factor is always there. Filipinos want to know more than they need to know, something you get used to, I suppose.

However, foreigners have plenty of money, that’s always what people believe. So they want to know where my money comes from. If you don’t answer, then assumptions start. I have been in the Philippines long enough to know how to ride that one. I just have fun with their notions which always find their way back to you.

“Maybe he’s not saying much because he is a criminal.” It was mentioned once that I work online and a story spread that it was something illegal. I’m still trying to work that one out but I suppose a white guy staying so far off the tourist map and without a condo or hotel to go back to to take a crap was beyond their comprehension.  It took a long time and that story will unfold but I did manage to make people aware I was not one of those foreigners although that was much later on.

Filipinos are no different from anyone else as regards curiosity and a need to know, but I would say that generally in the Philippines, they want to know more than most. I suspect this may be a topic matter to write on in the future but for now, let’s get back on track.

Welcomed

I soon began to get to know one or two of the people. On the whole I can honestly say that I was welcomed into the community and I was offered shots everywhere especially outside sari-sari stores where men were often drinking. They never failed to offer me a shot of mostly Tanduay (local cheap strong rum). For a chaser or mixer, some would use tuba which is what is also known as coconut wine. In those early days, I got very drunk on many occasions. I came to learn much about tuba but at this point, I was a total novice in rural living and had no idea what tuba was.

When I was given tuba as a chaser, I found it tasted sweet and didn’t even realize that it was alcoholic. I literally thought it was a sweet tasting soft drink. I would heartily drink it down after every shot of Tanduay and couldn’t understand why I was getting drunk so easily.

Coconut wine or tuba has a kick all of its own. Mix that with Tanduay, and bang! On more than one occasion, I had to be helped home as I was falling all over the place. The sweetness really had me fooled; I really did have a lot to learn.

Homemade Tuba

Tribal Land

Catigan is Bagobo country. Now, I never learnt too much about Bagobo people from the Bagobo people themselves. In fact, I wasn’t even aware I was in the midst of people of the Bagobo tribe. I only found out when I asked my companion what some guys outside the sari-sari stores were talking about. She answered she doesn’t know as they are speaking in their native dialect. I asked the obvious question, “So what dialect are they speaking in?” Bagobo would be the reply. I had no idea.

I did learn over time that many were proud of their traditions and I did detect much talk of respect. If I was invited to drink and refused, It would be said “out of respect, have a drink with me” which made it very hard to say no.

I had to wait till I was back in the capital to research as the broken information I was given about Bagobo people only served to confuse me. I learnt that Bagobos are in quite a few corners of Davao and they are a fragmented tribe and cannot understand each other’s dialect. It took my own research to find out that the Bagobos of Catigan are the Bagobo Tagabawa tribe. The history of the Bagobo people is better explained by others. Learning a little about the history makes you realize just how rich and diverse Davao is. 

I could not say to you I was witnessing what some romantics may think of as tribal life in the sense of how a westerner would picture it. Everything on the surface just appears to be as much the same as rural life all over Davao or at least from where I was looking at it.

Catigan is a mix of Bagobo Tagabawa people, Davaoeños (Dabawenyos, or name for people of Davao) and often mixed Tagabawa and Visayans. The culture of the Bagobo Tagabawa lives on through its beliefs, traditions and dialect, but it’s not obvious to an outsider like me.

Congregating outside the sari-sari store as little else to do

They are a very hardy people as are many Filipinos from any part of the country. All of Davao is made up of a mixture of various tribal cultures and Visayan from the inhabitants who migrated here. The history is there to be explored and as many judge everything about the culture of the Philippines on what they observe from Metro Manila; it really is a good idea to learn a little about the overall history and culture of the locality and wider Philippines to understand a little more about where you are and understand its way of life. The more you know, the more you realize that nothing is quite what it seems. Much of the story is missing to the outsider therefore their perceptions are often based on misunderstanding and a little ignorance. History in the Philippines did not start only when the Spanish arrived.

Davao alone has an immensely rich history. To tell that story is not just a book but a whole series of books and if one city can have such history, imagine the rest of the country, too. We tend to think of the Philippines only in its modern day context as an ex-American colony and the ousting of President Ferdinand Marcos. Davao and the rest of the Philippines have many more stories to tell.

I will leave you to discover that for yourselves. For the purposes of this article, I shall simply relate it to my own limited experiences in Catigan. If you are ever in Davao, do visit the Museo Dabawenyo, it teaches you how little you do know.

Museo Dabawenyo, an interesting informative tour to open your eyes

Losing Yourself in Another Philippines

I was in a place called Catigan, Toril, Davao City. For those that don’t know, that’s in Southeastern Mindanao, the southern island of the archipelago. It’s difficult to try and describe a place when you’re not there anymore. My biggest frustration was not being able to write whilst I was there. Of course, in reality I could write, lack of computer was not really an excuse as I suddenly remembered that possibly, the greatest dramatist of all time, William Shakespeare, actually never had a computer. Yes, I discovered an old fashioned concept and long forgotten technique, pen and paper.

If Willie can do it, so can I. After all I come from a place only 40 miles away from Stratford upon Avon so we’re made of the same stuff surely. OK, maybe I’m not made of the same stuff as Willie as whilst using the old quill and ink, I only kept notes. I was so used to the luxury of editing, cutting, pasting and deleting some of the poorer stuff I had written, I struggled with the idea. It does kind of bring me to the point of this post.

I had gone back to basics. I had become someone who had become totally reliant on the modern world. I have lived in a world with computers; suddenly using a pen is such an ordeal. I had arrived in a place far removed from the relatively easy city life I was accustomed to.

If in need to cook, I turn on the gas; if I need water for drinking, then it’s in a blue bottle that is delivered. When I need to wash, I turn on a tap. I need light, and then I flick a switch. Naturally, it’s what you’re used to and when modern convenience is taken away, only then are you aware that you have gone soft.

Another Kind of Adaption

So let me tell you about what I came to. Firstly, I stayed with a family in a house with no electric; water was a 15-minute walk away downhill and 25-minute return when laden with water uphill coming back.

I’ve lived in many places that was fairly basic but the difference was, this was a different kind of basic, at least as far as my experiences of life go. I had never experienced no electric, best of all, no toilet, no water at hand from a tap, and no gas or electric to cook. Straight away, I realized I have to toughen up and boy, do I need to adjust. I became completely aware that no matter how intrepid I thought I was (not very), I really had become a creature of convenience, a city boy through and through.

It took me back to my early times here and all the awkwardness of not knowing much of anything that is going on around you. Sure, I had adapted to the convenient life in the Philippines, this was adapting all over again. I really felt like a tourist all over again. All eyes were on me and I felt like a buffoon and I was sensing the amusement of the locals watching me puffing and panting down slippery paths just to get home. This was to become a mind and life-altering experience.

There’s A Fat White Man on the Purok

So the big bloke bounced into Catigan, Toril in Davao City. I had come to a beautiful, peaceful and totally different part of the Philippines to what I had experienced. I was to come face to face with some stark realities about myself. I didn’t want to stand out looking awkward that’s for sure, but arriving about 16 lbs overweight suggests I wasn’t helping myself in that regard.

My first visit to Catigan was in early March 2013. It is situated at the foot of Mt. Apo. As you ride the tricycle up the Catigan road, you feel it drop a degree in temperature every 2 or 3 kilometres. By the time you had completed the 8 kilometres uphill from Toril to Catigan, the climate was noticeably cooler. I struggled with my bag down a path to where my hosts lived. I got welcome help from a guy who gave me my first twinge of embarrassment at myself.

There I was struggling to wheel my suitcase down a bumpy path which was just not designed for suitcase wheels, but I still tried. A guy just came up, put my suitcase on his shoulder and strolled up a steep bank with such ease that it made me look and feel really weak and useless. I didn’t like what I had become. I was 54 at the time but it wasn’t age that was giving me difficulties, it was being overweight and unconditioned that was the problem. At this point, I had no idea how I was going to adapt.

I had come to see my twin sons and their mother. The twins were just only 2 years old at this time. I had come to bond and live the life they were living. My sons were a lot tougher than dad that’s for sure.

I arrived at the family home, was greeted by Papa Lolo and Lola Ate and then taken for what to me at the time was a terrifying walk back up the same path, but this time in complete blackness. We were aided by a dim torch on a lighter and I wondered how the hell anyone copes with this. It seemed it was nothing to my hosts whereas I could barely walk for tripping, falling down holes and not seeing where the hell I was stepping.

I was amazed how easy the mother of my twins found it to negotiate the blackness, the terrain and manage to not trip over. In the dark, coming towards us was another dim flashlight. My instinct was who the hell is this especially when it became apparent that the holder of the flashlight was stumbling down the path. I could tell whoever it was couldn’t hold their balance so straight away I deduced it was someone that was drunk.

Should I be wary? I observed my companion and detected not one flicker of concern. As we drew closer, it became apparent it was someone she knew. Overtime, it became obvious she knew everyone; that’s how life is in this close community. I was to experience many lessons about trust; this was my first. In the blackness, we had a friendly encounter with the drunken man who warmly greeted me in English. He became known to me after as the repeating man as he held my hand repeating himself over and over and it was no problem at all.

I spent my first night under the most beautiful sky watching fireflies. Being a few kilometres up the Catigan road seemed to take you nearer the stars. They seemed so close and clear skies meant incredible night skies and you felt you could reach up and touch them. My first night was a mixture of emotions. I felt happiness to be with my sons, but at the same time dreading ever needing to take a crap. I don’t think I recall ever not having a toilet to use. The dread constipated me for a week almost.

So here I was the fat white bloke on the Purok. I had a lot of learning ahead of me and I awaited the morning keenly. At this point, I couldn’t get my head around not having a toilet. That was another bridge to cross when the time comes.

This was my opening night in another Philippines. I knew I had a long way to go, much to learn, a lot of adapting to do but I was up for it. My puffing and panting state had embarrassed me enough and made me aware of how soft I had become. I spent a good two weeks watching and letting people accommodate me.

I suspect that my inability to do something as simple as take a crap without the convenience of a toilet, said volumes about me. I know it’s not exactly compulsive reading, but strange as it may sound, it was a huge psychological hurdle I needed to get over. I did progress, in fact, I made huge strides but at this point, I was pathetic.

Cracking My Shell Open

I’ve been back in Manila from Mindanao for a few weeks now. I was forced into a shell even after I got back because of circumstances, but now my egg is hatching. Disheartening episodes continued and became worse than what I told you about in Bubble Bursting.

Eventually, a tiny bit of financial relief came along, enough to get myself up and running with a computer and got back online. I had really missed writing. I had tried continuing in an internet café on my return, but I couldn’t focus with ten screaming youths around me and keypads where I have to punch the space bar to make it work. I’m not complaining though, it’s damned cheap!

Injury Time

Then, to further compound my writing return, I was beset with illness. My poor health was a hangover from an injury I got in a tomato field. Don’t ask but in short, a nylon rope had cut into my leg, a fly had a nibble on the injury when I wasn’t looking which resulted in a very yucky pus-ridden swollen and infected lower leg which made my last few weeks in Mindanao very uncomfortable. I returned to the capital and fully recovered, or so I thought. Apparently not, my leg decided to start rotting from the inside out. It swelled like an elephant’s leg and was so painful, I struggled to walk. I had serious fever for a few days and a course of antibiotics later; now, I am in recovery mode.

All these enthusiasm-dampening events have made it difficult to continue where I left off. I’ve hardly written a thing since December. It wasn’t losing the will; it was more about the means. I had many months away without a computer or internet connection.

Well, I now have the tools (computer and connection), I just need to wake up the brain and get some energy. It really is difficult picking up something you started after putting it down for such a long while. I had the desire, but the lack of means really did throw me off course.

In Bubble Bursting, I played with footballer analogies. The reason for that is because mentally I do feel rusty. No money and illness has left me feeling that I really need to ease myself back into writing. So as I’m still in football analogy mode, I will describe it as not feeling match fit. I need a few warm up games in the reserves. I guess this article could be such described as my warm up game.

I went well overboard with the football analogies in my last piece so it best ends here.

Losing Touch

Being away from a computer and internet meant I hadn’t had much to do with social media. I would visit a café a couple of times a month and keeping up with events wasn’t a priority. I did feel cut off from knowing what was going on but it wasn’t exactly a hardship.

I would make a point of checking on the fate of my beloved Blues spend 30 minutes realizing I was bored with Facebook and then log out to go back to a simple existence all of which I’m due to tell you about. I learnt a lot on my travels. I lost touch with the world and it was fine.

Something for Everyone

My absence from writing gave me the time to think about the future direction for this blog. I still have no idea exactly where I’m going with it though.

I’ve been spending my time since getting back online familiarizing myself with events, news and observing the usual Facebook chatter in an attempt to get the old brain working again. I’m hardly Mr. Metro so I don’t go out and find out much first hand. On occasions I have ventured out, I have had some great nights out, seen some excellent local bands and discovered many places which have gone a little under the radar. One thing I know is whether you like Facebook or not, social media and the internet in general really make it easy to find out what’s going on and where.

This blog is for those that can afford a good night but not forgetting those that can’t. Having less cash may be limiting in some ways, but the other side of not having a lot of money on your stay here means your limitations make you more informed and more adventurous. Lack of cash takes you into situations which other visitors seldom see. Your condo or hotel can be a little too safe. I love those that can step out of their comfort zones and explore the real Philippines and real Filipinos.

I’ve spoken of it before but there are many different ways of being accommodated if you’re coming on a visit. If you’re coming with a view to settle here, you need to know even more. You can save yourself a lot of time and money by simply educating yourself and taking guidance from someone that knows what may take you years to find out for yourself.

Metro Manila or tourist spots will always be more expensive when it comes to everyday living and accommodation. In short, these lessons are something you could really do with being fully aware of before you come with a vague plan. The actuality would mean having to rethink whatever you intended. Wouldn’t it be better to educate yourself long before you even got here?

It’s never easy, but this country has endless possibilities if you’re prepared to grasp them. I’m aware that for good reasons, people want to stay in their comfort zone. You’re not in your own country; you play it safe, very wise. Not everyone wants to be intrepid but the reality is if you only see a country from the safety of a hotel room, you are going to go home having learnt little about the real Philippines.

However, you don’t need a hotel to live comfortably. There are apartelles, motels, home-stays or rented condos and houses or a simple unfurnished or furnished room. With many of the options, you can get the same services you get in a hotel for a lot less cost. If you’re prepared to move away from the standard you’re possibly used to, then you can live amazingly cheaply. I will try and guide you enabling you to hold on to your cash and therefore prolonging your time here safely.

Everyone has different needs from the next. Whatever you want from the Philippines, it’s here. I’m hoping I can help tailor your stay within your budget. It’s most likely a vacation so you may want a little comfort. It really depends on you. Whatever you want, it’s doable; it’s the Philippines.

In future articles, I shall be offering you the guidance you need. You simply need to ask yourself a few questions as to what it is you want to achieve. If you’re visiting only, what is it that you want to do here? Do you want to sit in your room and only relax around the pool or do you want to see everything, do everything, and taste everything whilst you are here? To do that you need to plan. I’m more than happy to help you make that plan.

OK, I will leave you with one more football analogy as its World Cup year. This post was my playing just the first half of a friendly behind closed doors. A few more run outs, a full game and I’m ready for the league. Be patient with me and no more football analogies, I promise.

I’m back writing, still rusty, but I’m coming back to see where this takes me. I have decided to just put out posts as they come to me. No regular pattern, I think it will be all the better for it. So this is my warm up post. Normal writing will resume as soon as possible. This old chicken is coming out of his shell.

(Photo courtesy of Kay Smith Brushworks)

Defining a Sex Tourist

Writing this post is obviously going into a minefield. It feels as if I’m opening proceedings in a court. But who’s on trial? Well, before I start the trial, let’s begin by defining the charge. The definition of a sex tourist seems to have got muddled. So, let’s begin with simply that. What is a sex tourist?

The obvious thought that comes to mind is one who abuses. This is an international issue and it’s not just something related to tourism. But do abusers come to the Philippines to abuse? Well, of course it happens, as it happens around the globe, but when somebody actually travels thousands of miles for a specific kind of abuse then that is an obvious sex tourist.

I have no idea as to whether or not the Philippines attract child abusers for example. I think its possible purely based on my own knowledge of that it gets offered. Only on very few occasions I hasten to add but I have been approached by shady characters as I spoke of in my article, Two Girls a Boy and a Goat, Please, and been asked if I wanted ‘young’. I never asked for details but I can only assume that means illegal age so yes, I guess it’s here and offered.

I don’t really have any idea how many people would travel thousands of miles for easy access to this kind of abuse. I’m sure it goes on and they are obvious sex tourists of the worse kind. So where does the definition get murky beyond that?

Age Gap

Well, I would say that people’s perceptions of relationships between foreign men and Filipina girls get cheapened in some people’s eyes; not just here, but equally abroad. A classic example of this is when there is a noticeable age difference which is commonly seen. The dirty old man (DOM) label is automatically banded about by people here and abroad; it’s taboo in many cultures.

But these relationships are not abusive. It may be for the wrong reasons sometimes on both sides but both parties agree to it and it’s not fair to assume it’s always because of money. Of course, that is sometimes the motivation of some but nonetheless, they agree and it is not abuse.

Many older guys over 50 and more settle here with a young Filipina wife or girlfriend possibly 30 years younger than he is, and in some instances, even larger age gaps. This does happen more times than is comfortable for some observers, but sex tourist?

I couldn’t claim anyone going into a consensual relationship with someone younger is abusing. I’m sure some would say its abuse because they are taking advantage of the girl’s poverty. Well, the girl was living before she met him, so how can anyone say that she had to do it, it’s her choice. It may be a route out of poverty for some, but that again is her choice. If the nature of that relationship becomes abusive, well of course that’s another matter. But it’s not the age difference that is at issue there; it can happen when they are the same age, too.

Internet

Now, as is the case with many things online, it can be a good thing or a bad thing. The bad is that many men from abroad are just interested in the internet as a vehicle to obtain sex. Some men both foreign and local can be abusive online in many ways; I’m sure that’s obvious.

As many Filipinas actively look for relationships online, these types tend to prey on local girls here. There are a lot of Filipinas online searching for varied reasons. Some are genuine romantics and some are financial opportunists. The volume of Filipinas online means that they are often targeted by these types of men. There is no doubt that the internet is misused by many. But many men of all persuasions are perfectly genuine and are simply looking for a partner; same goes for the girls.

It’s the age of the internet and it’s no worse than going to a bar to meet someone or a dating agency. The internet has made finding potential partners easy and there is nothing wrong in that. However, somewhat unfairly, there is a sense of mockery from some within these shores and abroad about the nature of such relationships.

Strangely, often the same type that sneers at internet long distance love sees nothing wrong in finding girls in a place where you can’t be heard, i.e. a nightclub. It’s a simple fact that people can widen their search these days. There is nothing wrong in finding a partner online in this day and age.

It’s sometimes too hasty and has a faint smell of desperation from both or either parties. The world is full of lonely people and loneliness sometimes leads people into making bad decisions. The majority are perfectly capable of not making those mistakes. Again, subjects of stereotyping, people forget that it’s not done for the wrong reasons every time, there is still such a thing as love no matter how cynical some can be.

The dangers of internet relationships lies in the fact that people can be whoever they want to be on the internet. I can be an ex-footballer who owns a restaurant, flies a hot air balloon at weekends and has a racehorse of my own. Sadly, it wouldn’t be true. I’m just a fat lazy old hippy who has very little of anything. Point being I could be anything and who’s there to disbelieve me.

I cannot account for abusive people, but let’s give the benefit of the doubt to most. It’s a small world these days and 20 years ago, people didn’t have Facebook. Facebook is commonly a medium for meeting people. Chat rooms are not as busy these days so online abuse I imagine has decreased.

A big reason why online relationships or communications gets a bad reputation with some is because the amount of online abuse from men whether foreign or Filipino is high. When chat rooms were more fashionable then serial wankers would spend hours online. In real life, they have to hide their abusive nature as it has repercussions. Online they feel empowered, especially when the person he targets is far away and cannot do anything other than block him. That happens after the abuse.

It’s normally simply a matter of an over-interest in sex and expecting webcam titillation in return for sometimes only promises.

Sometimes, I suspect that some of the mockers know too much; it’s a hypocritical world. It’s the internet and it’s a fact of life that sex is all over it. This encourages abuse. People forget that normal people use the internet too.

Gay Tourism

In other countries, there is still prejudice regarding homosexuality. Prejudice is not as widespread as it has been in the past and it varies from country to country. But even some more open-minded people, have a subconscious prejudice still alive in their heads. Subconsciously they think of gay as something a little dirty. With others, it’s not subconscious; it’s full on, and they regard it as something sordid and not right. This gives people the idea that gay men through their eyes, are not quite clean, good and even think of it as sordid.

So within that culture, the stereotype is that someone going to the Philippines that are gay is going for a naughty time only. There is plenty of prejudice towards gays and it magnifies to be something seedy in their way of thinking. Well, gays just like anyone else have varied reasons to visit the Philippines.

The Philippines has a high percentage of men that are gay. Being gay in the Philippines does not mean you’re free from prejudice, but it’s more open here than most places, and in some respects, it is much more accepted. Naturally enough, this attracts gay visitors who have relationships with Filipino men and even those that come to enjoy the gay scene here. Yes, sometimes I’m sure that involves sex as is common within the gay scene. It’s not always about one-to-one faithful relationships. That’s the gay scene the world over.

But that subconscious thought which is in many people’s minds where they regard anything to do with gay as a little sleazy, tends to overshadow their thinking. They only think about the sexual nature of such relationships and lifestyles. This has people thinking that they go only for sex. That may or may not be true, it depends on the individual. But I have explained the reason why many gay men come here from abroad; it’s because that there are many gays here. It’s not rocket science to work out that would mean many gay people will come. Sex tourist? No, it’s a fact of life. But it feeds into prejudices so therefore is spoken of negatively.

It has planted a seed in many heads which has them thinking that it’s all for pure sex and that the Philippines is some kind of haven for that. Again, let’s not assume anything. Often, it’s a relationship of their own choosing and it’s wrong to allow prejudices to earn someone a tag as a sex tourist.

Liar, Liar Pants On Fire

Now I will step into what I believe to be the most common kind of sex tourism. It’s not even illegal here or anywhere else for that matter. If we are to define sex tourism as people who travel to abuse, then this category is by far the biggest offender. They are the liars or should I say them that travel to acquire sex on false promises. The abuse is that they simply lie to get it which is something totally absurd and says a lot about these characters.

If a man travels all this way after possibly months of lying in online conversations just to fool someone who he will marry them, help them or take them abroad with him. He could definitely be rightfully tagged as a sex tourist. After the few nights in a hotel room, he disappears or returns home with no intention of meeting his promises; this is an all too common form of abuse here.

The purpose of all this deception is nothing other than to be able to obtain sex. This is not a category of sex tourist that people think of, but I don’t know why that is, as these are by far the most common offenders, and of course they break no laws in doing it. All I can say to that is that if anyone reading this is guilty of such actions, then can I ask, were you that in need of sex that you had to travel so far and tell lies? Are you actually that ugly and cannot find yourself a sex life back home. I will let you decide what their reasons are.

The Verdict

Well, the trial ends and I haven’t gone into other aspects mentioning prostitution and those that use them and foreigner-owned sex businesses as well as girly bars designed for titillation. These are all matters for another day.

But if I was the judge in this strange trial, I would find the people who are with partners much younger not guilty of being any kind of sex tourist. Those that travel thousands of miles simply to have sex I would definitely find guilty. There is more to life than sex and it’s a little disturbing some would lie and cheat and spend hard-earned money traveling so far just to have that.

Its time people actually had a clearer definition of what a sex tourist actually is. This is only my account. I’d be curious to know your thoughts. It’s a topic submerged in stereotypical thinking and often unfair. Yet the real villains seem to not get mentioned, the deceivers. Filipinas are mostly very real girls. Of course, they can be abusive on another level too and again that’s another article. This article focuses on those that travel for sexual purposes. What I ask people to consider is that most of us don’t. Don’t label as is too commonly done. It’s far too easy to label without knowledge. Keep the definition down to those that abuse and those that don’t. I think it’s fair to say most don’t. You can call the ones that do what you like; I don’t seek to defend them.

Text Text

One of the first things I observed in the Philippines is the absolutely over the top use of texting. It was one of my first observations and it took me awhile to work out why.

As with most things, there is always a reason why, but coming from a place where a text is mostly used for the relaying of information or messages that are important, it really was puzzling to me when I first got here. It seemed to be a whole way of life for some.

As a new arrival as I was at the time, I had been in restaurants and observed groups of six sitting at a table, awaiting a meal and out of the six, probably four of them would be constantly texting. The other two probably want to text but can’t think what to text at the time. Whereas I smoke like a maniac, it appeared that people here texted for something to do with their hands which I guess is healthier than smoking.

Turn your head the other way, there’s a dating couple sat opposite each other and instead of looking into each other’s eyes and talking, they are both texting and barely a word is exchanged. I’ve often wondered if it’s because they are so shy and are texting each other. I was very bemused by all this to say the least.

You walk through the streets and people are texting as they walk, oblivious to everything around them and in the Philippines, it’s a dangerous practice as it’s all too easy to get in the way of a tricycle driver or fall down an open drain. It’s a national obsession, and you see text being used far more than you may observe in other countries.

I can only speculate as to why some of this is but one real reason that I believe holds ground is simply that there is no cheaper form of communication. It is very inexpensive to text in the Philippines. All the providers do promos, which offer all day texting at as little as 10 pesos. Filipinos know how to maximize a good deal and they text till they drop for very little money.

Photo courtesy of getrealphilippines.com

Another possible factor is that Filipinos are generally a little shy. It’s hard to define but they seem to be the kind of people who would be happier talking to you from afar and would probably be far more open through text exchange. Many romances and courtships are through text messaging. I’ve received many texts asking my name and, “Will you be my text mate?” is the question. I had never come across anything like this before and I found it fascinating.

This isn’t to say that Filipinos can’t talk, far from it. But this combination of factors especially the fact that it’s cheap has everything to do with it. It has set into the culture, and in a way it seems they are very comfortable with it.

So as you have a day’s texting for a small cost, the idea is to use it till your thumb becomes numb. Consequently, I have received some very funny texts in my time from people maximizing their promos and asking me “if I’ve had my lunch?” Prayers and quotes from god himself (whom I never knew had a cellphone). Others include “time for coffee”, “don’t forget breakfast” and even “do you love me” to which I reply, “I don’t know, who are you”?

You will observe that if you watch someone walk into anywhere like a restaurant or sit down on a bus or pretty much anywhere where it’s a little public (which is everywhere, its Metro Manila, no hiding place), then the first thing they are likely to do is grab their cell phone and just slightly hide behind it and text.

In this metropolis, a cell phone is a perfect screen. You feel very exposed and city paranoia is rife in such overcrowded places. Texting means you can hide from the world avoid unwanted attention and generally kill time.

So get used to excessive texting. You may need to give your thumbs a work out before you get here. Texting is a way of life so get used to it. They will speed past you, walk in front and then boom! Out of the blue, they just put on the brakes because of a need to text someone to say that they are “nearly there” or something.

For me it is totally over done but I say that as someone who isn’t much of a talker, we’re not all the same. The obsessive nature of texting here has often made me smile. The over use of it makes you wonder how they ever lived before the arrival of the cell phone. I’m certain that 70% of what’s sent to each other isn’t anything important. But Some Filipinos love to chat, and when they can’t chat, they text. Sometimes they chat with someone whilst they text. I think with evolution, in a few thousand years, Filipinos will develop a cell phone as an extra limb.

I have no data or research studies available on the matter but I bet at least 30% of the texts that are sent daily say simply OK. If you’re here long enough, it’s something you will possibly fall into, too. It’s not without its benefits.

It can sometimes be a nuisance though. I have had people try to befriend me through text pretending they don’t know me. They claim to not know me but what gives it away is that they text everything in English when I’ve never replied saying I wasn’t Filipino myself. Sometimes it’s the person you bought the load from and often they tell me a friend gave them my number. It doesn’t bother me as when I’ve had enough I just ignore, but it can be used to intimidate or harass something young ladies here often experience from shy would-be suitors.

I have to admit that there have been times when I have developed the obsession, too. In bored moments, I haven’t exactly asked if they have had their lunch, but I have indulged in some very silly pointless exchanges to pass the time.

Texting here is a way of life. It’s cheap and definitely used more extensively than anywhere else I know. Lawyers, politicians even release details to media via text. Most times, I pass a police officer on duty and he’s texting. I even laughed out loud many years ago when there was a military coup going on in Makati which fortunately failed. The soldiers that were positioned outside, ready to storm the building were all fervently texting whilst waving to the cameras. Yes, it’s a text republic here. Better start training those thumbs. Filipinos are great people to observe. This aspect is just one of many aspects that make me smile and in this case a totally harmless part of being a Filipino. Go with the flow and get that promo. It’s definitely better than watching local TV. I’ve been here long enough now to also feel a little naked without my cellphone. Don’t forget breakfast, nor lunch and definitely don’t fall for the pasaload trick.

You can pass loads to people and all too often I get these requests. I’ve worked out that some send pasaload requests to everyone in their phone book. They only ask a small amount so they don’t appear too much (grabe!). The idea being, if 2 or 3 of their friends respond and send that small amount of say 5 peso load, then that pays for the day’s texting via promo.

Naughty maybe, but harmless. Take care always. Another popular text.

Faulty Radars

Manila Traffic
(Photo courtesy of http://www.remate.ph)

People here are a mass of contradictions, and although for the most part, they are a polite and respectful people, there are a few engineering faults. The reason I point this out is basically to warn newcomers as to what to expect.

Before I go further, I wish to state that there is nothing wrong in pointing out differences especially ones that cause much confusion between people from different cultures and with different attitudes.

Filipinos sometimes wonder what on earth we, funny foreigners, are complaining about. Well, complaining is futile here anyway, so let’s say that this is just to give a people who come from places where it’s very different (outsiders) an idea of just how different it is here. Be mentally and emotionally prepared. It’s never fully explainable, but as you grow more used to it, you begin to understand it and the keyword is accept; things are done differently around here.

I, like many, would sometimes get frustrated at many things about some of the ways here. It’s different where we come from, I’m not saying better, just different. Adaption can only come when you understand it and that takes time.

In your early moments here, you are going to have a weakened heart from the stresses, but improved lungs from all the sharp intakes of breath you will need to be taking. Yes, patience is a must here. Prepare yourself for some rather perplexing and sometimes annoying behaviour and breathe deeply. It helps if you try to work out some reasons why things are as they are.

Contrasting ways

We, foreigners, or most of us at least, come from a climate of waiting for your turn in a queue and giving a little ground when in motion so we don’t collide, usually it’s self-administered. The lack of cooperation is difficult to understand when first faced with it here.

Here the traffic jams are sometimes caused by blocking maneuvers of motorists, which gridlock the main roads that in turn affects the side roads, and much of it is caused by everyone trying to gain a one meter advantage but only succeed in slowing everything down including themselves. Even though they know they are blocking access, the one meter of room they may have to give to let another vehicle through is something they are not prepared to give. In fact, their actions multiplied by everyone else’s actions end up always in a jam. I’m not saying all traffic jams are caused by this attitude, but it is definitely a major contributing factor to the gridlock.

If you look at it practically, it’s simply funny, and I think that’s the best way to go through your days here, smiling and acceptive, even when your toes are trodden on. You are going to have days before you get used to it here when you will be convinced you will never adapt. Thing is though, you do just as soon as you accept it and stop trying to change it. Trying to change it would simply be pointless.

Try not to see it like that and just remember that the Filipino was built with a faulty radar system and that’s it. Don’t get mad; don’t start blowing off with, “Watch where you’re going, you idiot!” or “Why are you blocking the possibility of me turning by blocking the access even though you’re in stationary traffic?!” Just keep remembering, it’s never been any different here and that little engineering fault many have, faulty radars.

If you’re ever foolish enough to drive, you had better develop the same mentality. If you drive here like you do at home, with courtesy, then you will possibly move 70 meters in a day.

Same applies when walking around. Many Filipinos in Metro Manila have no built-in radar whatsoever. A walk through a market, street or even mall is somewhat bewildering.

Now, we all know that when someone is walking forward and someone is approaching from the side that normally you just hold back half- a step to avoid a collision, if that person is fractionally ahead of you. It’s instinctive, or so I thought. Here in the Philippines, that is the part of a Filipino which sometimes malfunctions and collide, you probably will. Yet strangely, they don’t actually collide as much as you expect, it’s like they are so used to it, it’s become a skill. Collisions are inevitable when people give no quarter, but when it happens; they don’t get mad, just used to it.

Yes, we are talking on foot here but the same applies with traffic. It makes no odds if you’re a huge bus or a tricycle, the radar just isn’t working. So both are going through and nothing is going to stop them. That sometimes appears to be the thinking sometimes.

Few will say sorry when they walk into you, as it’s just something normal. The radars are faulty so we will collide so what’s to say sorry for.

As much as you take it in your stride, when it comes to the larger vehicles, it can be a very UN-funny feature of the Filipino. The standards of driving are about what you would expect after someone was taught to drive steering a carabao, and then given the keys to a car. Even worse, a bus or jeepney as the crazy antics of motorists here are just unbelievable!

Painting lines on the road is a total waste of money. I actually believe that some just think they are a cool road design and they have no idea why they are there. “Why have 3 lanes when you can have 7?!” also seems to be part of the thinking. What they haven’t worked out is that half the traffic chaos is simply caused by insane driving, trying to get ahead and leading to blocking. There is little to no guidance from authority as to how to drive in a cooperative manner; they simply don’t know any other way, they have never been shown.

The traffic weaves in and out from one lane to the other, and if you leave any gap, someone will take the space. They drive giving no quarter, won’t let you in or out if you need to change lane unless you force the issue, forget courtesy; you won’t often see that when driving around the capital although it does happen on occasion.

If you need to change lane in tight traffic, you would have to do it in a way that would suggest to others that if they won’t back down, you are going to exchange paintwork; as if you don’t, nobody will let you across. They simply don’t look at you and keep filling the space. This is a feature of rush hour traffic, a time when I wonder why anyone would want to travel in a car. Naturally, may be a little easier between 9AM and 3PM, the window hours between the number coding restriction rule.

If you don’t want to lose your cool and spend the rest of your days in a Filipino jail for a road rage murder, then don’t try and drive. Even bungee jumpers would think twice. It’s too slow to be dangerous in many places but it’s mental. Higher speed driving is another thing again. When on an open road, you will notice some insanely dangerous overtaking maneuvers. A heavy truck is hurtling towards them in the opposite direction but no matter. They overtake and it’s just an act of God that they don’t collide every time. They make frightening judgments as regards risk and just overtake regardless of what’s coming in the opposite direction.

If traffic is blocked going on one direction only, then many will simply go over to the lane for oncoming traffic and try to pass but as many do it, that means the oncoming traffic is blocked too by vehicles going the opposite way. It’s selfishness at its most extreme and none benefit for it but they will never stop and authority seems to be not dealing with it. They are used to it, too so doubt that they even recognize the problem; it’s self-created chaos.

Disable your radar

If you’re here for the long-term, then spend a long time working out how they do things on the road before you buy a car. You just might not want to use it.

In crowds, again the lack of radar will mean you will be on constant collision course with others. Now the question is, can you get used to this quickly and simply disable your own built-in radar system? That’s possibly the best way to counteract it, even though you don’t feel comfortable doing it.

Now what happens after you have been here a long time? You find yourself behaving more and more like many locals do. It’s simply a matter of do it or don’t ever get home. Nobody is going to sweetly hold back and let you through, at least not in rush hour or in the most crowded places such as market or busy street when you’re walking.

Other things not radar-related are such as when awaiting to be served at a busy store, people will just come up and shout out what they wanted disregarding you were there first. How do you prevent it? You don’t. So you simply have to do the same.

As I’ve said far too often already in earlier articles, much of this is due to overcrowding and living in a city of faceless people who are simply trying to move forward quicker than anyone else. You are going to have to adapt, stay cool, and lose some of your inbuilt manners.

This is Metro Manila or at least much of it. In these situations, these people don’t seem right at all and it has you seriously asking yourself, will you ever get used to it.

To a people who haven’t seen it any other way, it’s not such a problem as it is to us. We’re not used to it; it’s against what we were taught. Simple moral is re-learning everything you know; this is Metro Manila.

After a while watching how locals manage is possibly your best tip. I spent months possibly a year or 2 really useless at crossing roads here. They come at you from all directions and it’s scary. Then I noticed that in a strange kind of way, they are not always as inconsiderate as I thought. Simply step out gently, hold up your hand, they slow down to let you cross. The etiquette is there; it’s just nothing like how we do it. Observation is the key. Locals don’t get mowed down or not often at least. Do the same, it works. You have to simply announce you’re stepping out with a raised hand; they don’t actually kill you, I even get smiled at often by the one I’ve stepped in front of.

It’s a collection of cities with 12 million people in it. It works for them. I know it’s not easy to change the way you have done things all your life, but simply disable your radar and go. Our nice little ways work fine in our less hectic spaces in our home countries. It doesn’t apply here.

I believe people are aware of the negative impact of their radar-less ways. In quieter situations, it’s less apparent. Be risqué and the biggest lesson to learn from locals is don’t get mad, stay cool and you find your patience emerges. Before you know it, you will be off the Valium.

So I hope this advice makes sense as you start out in the capital. It will take a lot longer than a month’s vacation here to adapt, but you will. Switch off your radar, and just collide and smile. Patience is something I’ve learnt from the Filipino. They don’t get mad; why should we?

Two Girls, a Boy and a Goat, Please

I am delighted to at last be able to step away from endless posts about transportation and commuter life in Metro Manila. If you’re a local or even a foreigner that’s been here awhile, then much of it must seem like stating the obvious.

Does it need explaining? Why don’t I just let people come and see for themselves. Well, it would be a lot simpler if I was writing about the provinces. A straight culture guide, a bit of history, way of life description, local food knowledge, best eating spots, the nearest beach and much talk about friendly people and my job is done. I dream of the opportunity and all very nice. Point is there are a million people already writing such stuff about the Philippines. What I’m attempting to do is explain away the everyday ordinary world of Metro Manila and how to adapt to it as best you can without becoming mentally unbalanced.

I think locals don’t recognize the way of life in the capital as anything unusual because they are so used to the madness. If you are a part of it, raised in it, it’s everyday life, it’s normal. The longer you are here, the more it becomes like water off a duck’s back, and you simply become a part of the asylum and adapt. But to say it’s an easy transition to get to that frame of mind would not be true. It’s just simply overwhelming and a lot of adjustment is required.

Coming to terms with the noise, the volume of people, the stress, heat, traffic and general confusion that is much of Metro Manila is something you won’t manage quickly. So whilst we’re stood around taking in all we are seeing, locals are also watching us. We must be very funny in the eyes of a Filipino as they watch us watching them as fresh-faced tourists.

Not because some foreigners wear socks with sandals either, although that should be grounds for deportation in my opinion, but overall, we are a mixed bunch and some appear more like ordinary Joes and some not.

Unfortunately, it has to be said that a few visitors and foreign residents are here for unsavoury purposes. For this reason, a mind-set has been created among some locals as regards what foreigners are all about. That small group of visitors wanting fun has been turned to mean most of us in the minds of some locals. They think that’s the only reason we ever go out.

Some may think of you as someone who comes strictly for the easily available cheap sex. The disproportionate amount of old foreigners with young wives or girlfriends gets noticed, too. Some visitors have tastes best described as simply illegal or dubious.

This is not only echoed here as you hear the same talk from abroad, too. It gets forgotten that most visitors are here for reasons other than vice. But the negative is the one that stays in some people’s minds; we’re all up to no good.

One of the most unpleasant aspects of being here is the many locals wanting to aid you in finding what they perceive you are looking for. “Chicks, sir” is often called out to you. You ignore them yet they are so confident you’re a deviant foreigner, they actually follow you and keep up the asking of what it is you want, and simply don’t take no for an answer.

I once had a gay start walking with me in a mall. He made friendly talk and sprung it on me the usual question of, “Do you want a chick?” Already fed up of his attitude, I kept walking and said, “No, it’s OK, thanks. I don’t need anything from you.” Thinking I’d said enough to get rid of him, I was surprised when he continued with, “You want a boy then?”

I really wanted him gone by now and my tone got sharper, and I replied, “No, I don’t. I’m fine. I don’t want anything. Take care.” And I foolishly thought, I’d said more than enough to make him go away. To my amazement, he did not let up, and he took a new approach saying, “Don’t be shy now; you can tell me. I can help you just tell me what it is you want, I can get it for you.”

At this point, I lost my cool and stopped still. I turned to him and said, “ Look, you’re pissing me off now. I’ve already told you many times, I don’t want anything from you”. His reaction was so strange to me. He got very irritated and despite all I’d just said, he still said to me in a very annoyed tone, “What the hell is it you do want?! I can help, just tell me!” I just ran out of words and walked away very fast zigzagging to make it hard for him to keep following me, and also drawing attention to the fact I didn’t want him around me any longer. It worked; he went.

That, among other similar incidents brought it home to me just how some just won’t believe you’re not constantly needing sex or some action or whatever you want to call it. It’s very difficult knowing so many are thinking that way about you, and you’re only out to get some coffee and a loaf of bread.

We, as visitors or residents, just have to ignore the negative stereotyping. This is a minority view and most are not so ignorant, but you will encounter that thinking. The clues start when you’re frequently asked such things as, “Do you need a chick?” It was something I learned to deal with but sadly, had to get quite aggressive more than once to make them understand I’m not needing sex every time I go out. I found it most concerning how they persisted and I could sense they felt if they just persist, I will crack and own up that I’m really looking for 2 girls, a boy, and a goat, all before breakfast.

For the most part, you are treated fine by most people and most don’t always hold assumptions about you. It is misunderstandings all the way, and rightly or wrongly, funnily or UN-funnily, this creates its own drama, and above all comedy, and sometimes tragedy. I’m certain you will be amused by much of what you see although incidents like I just described are not among the funnier moments. I know these foreigners exist, but it’s a hard thing to take to be assumed to be the same.

It’s easy to fall into the trap of thinking everyone has that kind of thinking about you, but most don’t. Remain open and responsive and don’t judge the Filipino based on the attitude of a large minority.

In the main, Filipinos are warm, friendly, smile a lot, sing a lot, and sometimes, misunderstand a lot, but they are rarely abusive, or at least not on purpose. They do really laugh a lot but on occasion, they can completely miss the joke sometimes, too. When it comes to local and foreigner interactions, the language barrier is usually the single-most cause of misunderstanding. Although many, even most have some grasp of English; still, misunderstandings are frequent.

You may have to explain what you want to say in as simple terms as possible. Remember, this is not the first language. Most speak English well enough, and many understand the words, but can often mistake the meaning. Be prepared for these misunderstandings, but on the bright side, you will find these misunderstandings can create much accidental comedy.

Some people here can be a little over sensitive about criticism and they can take offense too easily. It’s usually because they have misread a remark. It’s easy to be taken literally sometimes. Even writing a site like this in an honest manner has its dangers due to over-sensitivity. I find for the most part, Filipinos are good fun, happy by nature, with a love of laughter but also over dramatic and with some, definitely hypersensitive. Be guarded in what you say sometimes and think how easily a remark could be misinterpreted before you say it.

As you start to venture out and interact with the locals, you are going to find many things funny and equally sad. Get out there, observe and whilst scratching your head trying to work out what makes these people tick, I’m sure you will observe many things that will make you angry but mostly make you smile. Everywhere you go, you will stumble upon a little theatre and you’re in danger of a sensory overload. As difficult as it is, this is life in the 16 cities and a municipality, that make up Metro Manila. Grow a thick skin and deflect the stereotyping. Likewise, don’t judge everyone on the attitude of some. It would not be accurate. The vast majority will see you for who you are. Mind-sets are a big problem here and all too many assumptions abound.

Most of us are just ordinary people, not sex tourists, not always rich as many think and not here to retire or marry a young lady. The assumptions will drive you crazy, but equally don’t assume everyone here has such closed thinking, they don’t, as you will soon find out.

Taxis, the Ugly

Part of me is not enjoying writing these recent articles concerning different ways of getting around the capital. I said before I don’t want to do the usual moaning and sneering that happens far too often when writing about the Philippines generally.

But the subject matter over the last few posts has all involved transport around the capital which puts me in a tricky situation. In a metropolis of around 12 million people, its not too surprising that public transport is not without its problems. Much of it is difficult which is to be expected in such an overpopulated place.

So I have had to report it as just that, problematic, but I also want to say that it’s not about complaining; it’s about how it is and saying so. It’s the Philippines it is incomparable with Surrey in England, Vancouver in Canada or Sydney Australia. It’s not saying the public transport is inadequate as in a city of 12 million, I cant see how it could possibly be smooth sailing.

Neither do I want to sound an alarmist with this next article. Crime is not unique to the Philippines, far from. But as my purpose with these blog posts is to try and enlighten the would-be traveler, it is also my role to encourage them to stay safe. Forgive me highlighting a negative with this post and others, but I wouldn’t be doing a good job if I didn’t warn people against possible problems.

I have spent the most part of 7 years here and much of that time was in Metro Manila. No such incident has happened to me, but it has happened to people that I know. So from that point of view, I’m just trying to keep you safe but I also want to emphasize that being a robbery victim in a taxi is not commonplace, but it happens.

In Metro Manila, there are things you need to know when it comes to catching taxis. Chances are it will not happen but making you aware can increase your chances of avoiding such an event.

It occasionally happens that a rogue taxi driver and accomplices could stage a robbery and the passenger in the taxi be the target. In fairness to the police, it’s a very difficult crime to prevent as the whole point is to isolate a victim and how can the police come to grips with preventing it, I don’t know.

A taxi is an ideal vehicle to rob someone in. The passenger is confined in the back of a car unable to escape and the driver will then stop at a prearranged spot and the accomplices will jump in and put the passenger through an extremely harrowing ordeal.

Sometimes it is a rogue taxi driver who will also pretend to be a victim as well to cover his involvement, or a stolen taxi used solely for the purposes of holding up unsuspecting passengers and taking just about everything they have. Not only that, they are likely to take you to an ATM and get you to draw out your cash for them.

It is well worth reading these accounts by victims of such crimes. I think the graphic descriptions of hold ups in taxis, as told by the victim really does bring it home that you should never be too relaxed when jumping in a taxi.

It is difficult to even advise you as to how to avoid it when you’re considering waving down a taxi to get home. How can I tell anyone to not carry valuables, cash or ATM and credit cards? One of the reasons many take a taxi is because they feel safer traveling that way.

The poor victim only sees a taxi. There are no clues that the cab he or she has waved down is being used as a robbery vehicle. There are ways to avoid it, but sadly too often, taxi companies fail in providing an ordered taxi. Like anywhere else, you can call a taxi company and request one to come and get you. You have the security of knowing the name of the company and being able to only get into the taxi with the corresponding taxi company name on the side.

These credible companies offer a pick up service but unfortunately, on occasion they will tell you that there are no cars available which isn’t great considering your trying to keep safe but is bound to happen sometimes. However, there are many options listed so you should get at least one that can oblige you.

There is a new service available GrabTaxi which is definitely a step forward. Its an app for your smartphone and as I have not used it nor have a smartphone, I will leave a review for you to consider.

The only person I know who tried to use it failed in his mission, and was told that no cabs was available, lets hope that isn’t a common occurrence.

There are other providers around the country soon to be active such as MiCab that serves Metro Cebu.

When they do have an available car, they only add a small charge to the fare for preordering which is very reasonable. I have no idea why, but some taxi companies previously did not seem to be aware of the importance of having such vehicles available at all times in the interest of passenger safety. All too often, they fail you and leave you at risk. I hope that this app is a step in the right direction and puts pressure on companies not affiliated to this service to offer something you can rely on.

Still though, many resort to waving down a random taxi, and hoping for the best.

In no way is any of this suggesting you should not ride in a taxi, but you do need to know how to keep as safe as possible. I emphasize again, I have never personally been subjected to such an event so let’s not overreact.

Riding Taxis and Avoiding Problems

I definitely recommend you to pre-order your taxi from a reputable taxi company. The reasons are obvious. If you pre-book, you know which taxi company is picking you up. When he arrives, ensure he matches the information the taxi firm gives you. If they don’t offer you details, then request for the registration/plate number of the taxi coming to get you from them along with the body number, and company name. It would appear ththe GrabTaxi service does that but as we do not all have smartphones, its not for everyone. Keep a log of numbers of reputable companies in your phone.

It may seem a little over the top, but when possible, it’s worth the extra trouble to stay safe and it will only cost you a little extra, about a dollar and a half.

Of course, there will be times when you have to simply wave one down, or wait a very long time for an available taxi. If you find yourself not able to pre-book or don’t have a smartphone for the grabtaxi or MiCab service, and need to catch one more randomly, then there are some things you can do to keep you a little safer.

Look out for a recognized taxi company. Try to avoid an independent operator.

Often robberies are done in a taxi that is stolen. Of course, you would not know that when you get in. The golden rule is, if you don’t feel sure of anything, get out.

Often if you are being set up for a robbery, the driver will try and make it as easy as possible to trap you even before the accomplices get in. An example of this could be asking you to sit on a certain side of the vehicle. What sometimes happens is that one door is fixed so you cannot open it, and when the accomplices get in you are trapped, hence manipulating you to the side where the door doesn’t open.

It would be wise to check that the door opens before you set off and if the driver seems to be trying to maneuver you to a particular side of the car, regard it as suspicious and get out. Don’t concern yourself with manners, it’s your safety you need to think about. After checking the door opens ok, lock it and the other door and insist the driver locks the front seat door, too.

Outside of the concern of being a robbery victim, the other lesser concerns are simply avoiding being taken advantage of. Some drivers will smell the greenery on you as a newcomer in town and may be tempted to take maximum advantage assuming you have no idea of what is going on.

Basically, ignore any talk of traffic and fixed price or even when they blatantly say extra (yes, they actually say that). Just say put the meter on please. If they refuse, take down the details which are written on the inside of all the doors and report them to the LTFRB then get out.

It helps if you take on board as much information as possible from someone you know about your journey. They should be able to give you a rough timeline for the journey and how much to expect to pay. They can even give you instructions to give to the driver. This will alert the cab driver into being aware that you just may know a little more about where you are than he first suspected.

If he senses you are being observant and perhaps giving him the impression you know a little about the locality, it may prevent him taking liberties. Turn on a little of the actor in you and pretend you know a little more than you do. Naturally, you are going to look foolish on occasion and make slips but it’s worth it. If some of them smell the greenery on you they may take advantage.

Any problems then take down his details which are written on the inside of the door and report him to TAXI COMPLAINTS HOTLINE NUMBER or the LTFRB (Land Transportation Franchising and Regulatory Board) at +63 921 4487777.

When possible take someone with you. Naturally, as time goes by you will have to travel alone, but whilst your learning, take your teacher with you.

You need to be watchful of the meter as very occasionally some drivers use magic. Keep a close watch on the rate that the meter goes up. If you’re suspicious, observe his hands. Magic is a button they click discreetly to accelerate the meter rate so try and observe if he is clicking a device in his hand.

I hope these tips do not alarm you and it could be said that its overcautious advice I’m handing out here. Whether that is true or not I will let you decide, but when your new here at least, exercise maximum caution.

As I keep saying, chances are the worst of the abuses like robbery won’t happen. Chances you will be taken advantage of are more of a likelihood. I hope these tips help. If in any doubt whatsoever, don’t be shy about it, just get out at the earliest opportunity.

There is no easier way to get around so of course you will want to use taxis. Just be observant and don’t take unnecessary chances.

Stay safe.

Taxi’s the Good, the Bad

The most convenient method of travel around Metro Manila is by taxi. They are cheap and there are certainly plenty of them. Let it also be said that most are usually quite decent and fair and do as they should by putting the meter on before they drive off with you on board. They also take you to your destination via the shortest route, are polite and I cannot say enough good to credit these guys.

Taxi travel in Metro Manila can most definitely be problematic at the best of times. There are many things you need to be aware of when riding in taxis. But at the risk of overplaying a point, I want to ask readers to remember the good ones before we jump into an “all of them” type of discussion. It is not all of them that do wrong.

It has to be faced though that many of them are simply awful and have dirtied the name of a noble profession. I find it so sad that minorities always blacken the reputations of the majority. Unfortunately, some of the characters that call themselves taxi drivers have done a major disservice to the many decent ones whom often get tarred with the same brush. It’s time to give a little praise to the ones nobody talks about.

I say this because most times, I have few problems with taxi drivers. I never share stories with friends about how good the driver was nor comment about his politeness.

However, when you get a bad one that attempts to set an inflated price and refuse to put on the meter or take you on a detour to maximize the fare, then that always becomes a talking point. We tend to forget the good ones.

You only have to stand on the curbside in most locations for a short while, and it probably won’t be long before one comes along with the overhead light on meaning he is unoccupied.

I have ridden in brand new taxis with much appreciated air-conditioning as well as some older beaten up ones with air-conditioning that doesn’t seem to be working as well as doors or windows that won’t open. Whether old and beaten up or new, it’s noticeable that most of the drivers keep the interior clean.

The majority of the drivers are quite friendly and competent in English. I cannot honestly say that most are great drivers unfortunately. Taxi drivers are among the worst of all drivers in Metro Manila (in my opinion). There are many taxi companies and most are credible.

The ones to watch for are listed here. If you require a taxi for a longer period of time, you can negotiate and get a fixed price and use them for the morning, afternoon or all day should you require it. Likewise going out-of-town can be arranged at a negotiated rate.

Taxis are without doubt the easiest way to get around, especially if you’re a visitor here. The biggest asset is the sheer volume of them. However, it is important you don’t be too casual about riding in taxis.

Taxi’s the Bad

I stand by my comments regarding most taxi drivers being not so bad and we should not forget that. But again, we are in territory where certain things have to be said. Some Metro Manila taxi drivers are totally beyond the limit. It also seems that little is being done about it.

I know I am very much not alone in my thinking. It’s not just outsiders that think it, Filipinos do, too. Not many have kind words for taxi drivers in Metro Manila. That is somewhat unfair sometimes as I find many to be just fine, but when they are bad, they are bad; and it stays in your head to the extent that the good guys are forgotten.

There have been times I could simply beat one of them to death with a soft toy out of sheer annoyance and frustration. I should now set out to explain why I’m starting to sound a little deranged and explain my murderous statement.

Now, unless I am misinformed, part of their remit as a taxi driver is to take passengers where they want to go within Metro Manila. In fact, on many of the taxis, you see written “to anywhere in Luzon”.

Now I can understand that some may have a problem with going out of the metropolis, but it seems that many of them only want to operate within their locality, and seem to fail to understand that a taxi service is about taking people where they want to go, and not where the driver feels he should stay.

They directly turn you down if you want to go further than a couple of kilometers and unbelievably say, “too far”.

First off, how do you make a living by only going within a couple of kilometers? You are a taxi driver, then be a taxi driver and actually take the passenger where he wants to go. It is not supposed to be just about them. They should offer a service for the customer that they actually expect from a taxi driver. Why on earth would you be one if you were not prepared to do that?

Sadly, this is common thinking with many individuals that are running a business in the Philippines. They seem to fail to recognize that if you offer a service, you are offering that service for the client; it is not just about you as a provider. If you’re not providing anything near the service a customer expects, then give up your taxi and sell bananas.

This is an all too common conversation with taxi drivers here in Metro Manila. It goes something like this, “Take me to Quezon City,” I would say. So if I’m in such as Manila itself, that means you want to ride approximately 8 to 10 kilometers. The taxi driver will reply, “Too far.”

Somewhat bemused by this response, I will say, “What do you mean too far, you’re a taxi, aren’t you?” The second reason they give you is, “Oh, traffic,” too which I cannot control my sarcastic instincts, and reply “So you’re a taxi driver, so you should know even better than me that Metro Manila is always traffic, so what exactly do you mean?”

Usually, at this point, they don’t know what to say anymore and simply resort to saying “No, I’m not going there,” and wait for you to get out. I usually oblige and cannot resist out of sheer disbelief uttering a few expletives on my way out. I, then, look for someone who actually wants to be a taxi driver instead of just going ’round the corner patrolling his own neighbourhood.

If I am able to get any kind of explanation, they usually say, “I don’t make anything coming back.” Well, for me as an ex-courier driver, I really cannot understand their logic. If they are over the other side of the city after dropping you, well they’re a taxi, aren’t they?

Isn’t it a given that you pick up your next ride near to where you dropped off your customer? There are so many places they can go nearby where they will pick up another ride. This is how you earn a living, I would have thought. Eventually, you will find yourself back nearer your own area, and then you go home.

How on earth can you call yourself a taxi driver if you’re only prepared to take people no further than the smell of the abobo your wife is cooking? That’s the logical way to make a good living from driving a cab I would have thought, and that way you don’t have to waste fuel with an empty cab and you can collect far higher fares than by just going round the corner.

Then they tell you that it’s hard to make a living driving a cab. I’m not surprised with that attitude but they won’t see the logic of what I just said so I’m wasting my time ever trying to tell them, I’ve tried.

On a bad day, you may encounter 3 or 4 of these before you find one that actually is aware that he is a taxi driver and they are supposed to drive wherever you want to go. They operate as if it is for their convenience and not yours. Take a deep breath and just let him go.

Unfortunately, this is not the worst of the sins of certain Metro Manila taxi drivers. So you have found one quite happy to take you where you want to go. So now it is time to try their luck and take maximum advantage with lines such as “Oh, that’s far!” when you state your destination and then proceeds to give you an inflated price.

The justification for this is the old one “Oh, traffic!” What he is really trying to do is take you without using the meter, which gives him the opportunity to inflate the price, sometimes by a huge amount compared to what the fare would be if it was metered.

The next trick is to simply not put on the meter. The intention being when they arrive at your destination, they are going to ask some outrageous amount, and think you are simply going to pay it.

I had one driver once who set off with me on board and didn’t put on the meter. I said, “Can you please put on the meter?” He pretended not to hear me and continued to drive. I again said, “Hey, you haven’t put on the meter yet.” Again, he pretended to not hear me and then even started speaking on his phone disregarding my request for the meter to be put on. Somewhat annoyed by his antics I decided that I should use it to my advantage and also to teach him a lesson for being so underhand. I patiently waited for him to finish his fictitious phone call and said to him, “I have asked you several times to put on the meter, so I will tell you what, whatever it says on the meter when I get out is what I shall give you, as it’s not on, that means nothing.” Faster than a speeding bullet, he put on the meter, and I got the first 1 and a half kilometers for free so I had the last
laugh.

Never allow them to not put on the meter. If he won’t put it on, get out and if possible take down his details and report him. His details are written on the inside of the door. Take it all down and call the LTFRB (Land Transportation Franchising & Regulatory Board) that handles customer complaints against any public utility within Metro Manila.

Some will even say, “Meter is not working!” If it’s not working then he should be having it repaired and not working until it is, so he is lying, and so again, get out.

The fun may not be ended yet as there are other little tricks, and one of them is very difficult to avoid if you are a stranger in town. Despite the fact that many of them don’t want to go much further than round the corner, when they do take you, they want to go all around the capital to go somewhere 5 kilometers away. Yes, the unrequested tourist route is the next possible problem.

Being fully aware that you don’t have much idea about where you are and don’t know much about Metro Manila, they take you on a joyride to put the maximum on the meter trying to prolong the ride.

Avoiding this isn’t easy as how do you know if he is going the super long way round or not. I’m sure this trick isn’t unique to Metro Manila, I imagine it’s something taxi drivers all over the world have done at some time, but there are some here that take it too extremes.

I wish the more negative aspects of traveling by taxi were finished here, but unfortunately I have one more thing I have to warn you about. Something I was almost a victim of myself.

On rare occasions, you may find yourself subjected to a little magic. This is the name given to a little device that some taxis have which manually moves the meter by clicking a little handheld button. This is something they are more likely to use on a foreigner in the belief you are not aware of the rate that the meter clicks up a few pesos. Every time they click the button, the meter increases.

My good fortune was due to the fact I had recently seen a feature on local TV all about the taxi drivers magic button. I took a taxi to Coastal Mall in Parañaque from Manila.

He may have gotten away with it if it wasn’t for his own stupidity. Not too long after I got into the taxi and told him where I wanted to go, I dozed off. For some reason, he never used his magic button to increase the fare on the meter whilst he had his best opportunity. I was happily sleeping and when I woke, I observed the meter, and it was displaying the amount I would have expected for the distance we had covered.

As we got closer to Coastal Mall, we hit traffic. As we approached the heavy traffic, I took another peek at the meter and again nothing seemed wrong, the amount was still what I had expected. As we were stuck in traffic, I observed the meter, a little anxious that being delayed would make the ride all the more expensive.

I saw the meter jump up a little and watched as it kept on jumping at a rate that suggested we was going at around 100 kilometers an hour. I kept observing the meter going up yet we were virtually stationary. He managed to add around another 150 pesos in a matter of minutes, and we weren’t even moving.

Being aware of magic, I observed his thumb. I noticed, he kept clicking something discreetly in his hand and every time his thumb moved, the meter would jump up. I straight away knew what was going on.

I decided to say nothing at this point and just watch. He continued to click away almost doubling the fare and all in stationary traffic.

When we reached Coastal Mall, he looked at his meter and told me the amount. I replied, “Are you sure about that fare, kuya (Older Brother in Tagalog), as I couldn’t help but notice your meter was going a little crazy when we were stuck in traffic!”

I didn’t have to say any more as he went into a little panic, became nervous and to avoid a problem for himself, quickly said, “Never mind what’s on the meter, call it 150 pesos!” which was even less than I expected to pay. I simply replied “now that’s more like it isn’t it”, paid him the 150 and got out.

So unfortunately it’s far from joyous every time you get into a taxi in the capital. With most, you won’t have such problems, but with far too many, you will.